Sweetest Taste of Sin (Southern Sin) Page 4

  “Yeah,” Ant said on a sigh, incorrectly reading J.B. “That’s why I have to go. I love you and I won’t—I’d never do anything to jeopardize what you have with Logan. It’s just better for everyone, you know? She’s scared to death of me, man. Watches me the way you would a rabid dog, as though she expects me to snap at her.”

  “Because she loves you,” J.B. said quietly, his words falling into the tension of the kitchen like a boulder hitting a shallow puddle. He looked up at his brother, whose face had paled. “She loves you, man. Rabid dog or not, Logan watches you the way she watches me, and if you gave her the slightest indication, she’d take that bitter you’ve got injected in your veins and turn it sweet.”

  Ant’s throat worked. His eyes were wide. “J.B., swear to fuckin’ God I didn’t do more than kiss her. She’s your woman and—”

  “And I want her to be our woman.”

  “What?” The whispered question came out half-strangled. Then anger gave Ant strength and he proved just how much he loved Logan by stepping closer to the table, his body heaving with the passion of his next words. “You motherfucker, you…you sick fuck! You want to what? Treat her like a whore or somethin’, pass her back and forth between us like a blanket? A pair of shoes? What the fuck, man? She’s a good woman. The best of women. And you’re all set to treat her like a timeshare or some sick shit? Logan?” He planted his fisted hands on the table, leaning over it with menace and dire retribution lighting his eyes. “I’ll take her away from you before I ever let you do somethin’ like that to her. She deserves everything you have to give her and more. Unlike that cunt you married, Logan actually should get everything she wants.”

  J.B. nodded solemnly, not wanting to laugh. This wasn’t funny, but relief was bubbling up inside him because, yeah, Ant loved her as much as he did. “She does deserve everything she wants. And she wants you.”

  Ant blanched and stumbled to the chair, falling into it as though his legs couldn’t hold him up anymore. And he was shaking his head. “No, she’s scared of me. I wasn’t…She said some shit last night that—But she was drunk and then she wouldn’t listen to me. And then that kiss.” He gave his head a hard shake. “No. I’m not takin’ her from you.”

  “And I’m not giving her to you,” J.B. shot back. “I love her with all of my heart, bro. I haven’t… The only person I can think of who I might love as much would be you, just not in the same way, of course.” He sat forward, elbows on the table, and caught Ant’s almost frantic gaze. “I want her to belong to us.”

  But Ant looked at him as though he’d lost his mind. And then he said it. “You’re crazy. She’s… No, man. I love her. I shouldn’t, but I love her and I’d never do anything to hurt her. Nothing. Something like this, it could start off good and all, but after awhile she’d be the one who’d have to deal with people treatin’ her bad, thinkin’ badly of her, and any love she has for you…for-for me would die.”

  That was something J.B. had given a lot of thought to as well. “She already spends time here, a house with two men. No one has to know what happens in here.”

  “And a few years down the road when you want to marry her? Have kids?” Ant sucked in a breath. “You can’t do that shit to kids, man. Have them wonderin’ who’s their dad, why their mama has two men and other women only have one.” He shook his head again. “Maybe in a big city where people don’t know each other somethin’ like this could work, but here? These people know us, we know them. Logan has a standing in this community, a family tradition to carry on, just like we do, and the people love her. But if they think for one minute she’s fuckin’ two men, brothers at that, they’d turn on her in a heartbeat. And I won’t have that.”

  J.B.’s jaw clenched at the thought, and he had to just about sit on his hands to keep from leaping up to beat the shit out of someone. That was more Ant’s reaction to everything than his, but it just showed how much how much alike they were. He breathed deep to calm himself before he said anything else.

  “Do you think I just decided this, Ant? That I woke up this morning thinkin’ “Today I think I’ll offer my brother a threesome with the woman I love.”? You think this is easy for me? No, it isn’t. But I love both of you enough to want to do somethin’ about it instead of losing one or both of you because y’all keep circling each other like cats in heat. No, it ain’t happenin’.”

  He stopped because this next part was hard, harder than offering to share his sweet Logan with another man, but he did it because he didn’t want Ant to think this was casual for him. “You know Emily wanted this.” He waved his hand between them. “One of the few things that pissed me off about her before I found out about the spending. She wanted you. I don’t know if it was just because she thought if she had power over both of us, she’d get what she wanted most, or she thought if she had you…”

  He shook his head because he still didn’t get it. His sexual experience had started with Emily, which meant when they married he didn’t know shit. To his shame, it’d taken him a few years of learning and watching her carefully before he was able to find out what she liked and give to her, to make sure she wasn’t left behind. But even though she got off, Emily still didn’t like sex. He didn’t get it and he’d stopped trying, but for Emily to want Ant when she hated sex… He shook his head again. Which just about summed up his whole relationship with the woman. Emily had been about power. Him wanting sex and her being the supplier, the one he had to go to when he wanted it, meant she could hold it over his head. J.B. suspected she would’ve done the same with Ant. But his twin had been a wild one and wasn’t about to let anyone have power over him.

  Until now.

  “I knew, because Emily did, that you wanted Logan long before I asked her out.” And that made him sound like an asshole, which he supposed he was. “I knew you wanted her and I still asked her out, and I’d do it again. She’s everything I thought Emily was when I married her, and I took Logan from you with no intentions of giving her back, unless it’s with me.” He drummed his fingers on the table and bounced his leg, trying to explain his reasoning. “Maybe Emily fucked with my head more than I realized, but the idea of having you around, with Logan and me, means that together we can give her everything.”

  He held up his hand when Ant opened his mouth. “Wait, just wait, okay? I’ve given this a lot of thought. I know Logan doesn’t need material things like Emily. I know that, but what can I give her, man? A shitty credit score, some cheap ass apartment I can barely afford because everything else I have goes to Emily? What if we do have kids? How the fuck am I supposed to support a family after the divorce? And it isn’t all about money either. I want to make her happy. I want her to have everything. And I’m not fuckin’ lying. She loves you, man. Loves you. And I want her to have that because you’re a good man. I want all of us to be happy. Together. I’m not sayin’ it’ll be perfect. It’ll take some adjusting on all our parts, but I think it’d be worth it in the end because we’d have each other.”

  J.B. sat back, his heart pounding. He wasn’t a man who talked emotions, especially with his brother, but this wasn’t some bullshit conversation. This was his life, his and Logan’s and Ant’s, and it was worth talking about. He watched Ant, doing his best to read his brother, but for once he couldn’t. His hands began to sweat and his bouncing leg picked up speed as he waited for Ant’s response.

  And then his heart fell, because Ant was shaking his head as he stood. “No. I love her too much to put her through that, and if you love her as much you wouldn’t ask it of her either.” He pushed his chair in, adjusting it so it was perfectly aligned with the table. “I’ll come back later for my shit. You can have the house. I’ll stay at Mom and Dad’s until I know what to do with this.”

  J.B. watched Ant walk out the kitchen door, his heart a lead lump in his chest. He heard the sound of his brother’s truck starting and then the gradual rumble of the motor as he drove away. Leaving J.B. hoping he hadn’t fucked up everything.

  *
* * * *

  Logan leaned against the wall, her heart hammering in her chest and tears streaking down her face. J.B. knew she loved Ant. He knew it and he wanted to share her with Ant. For a moment there, she’d stood frozen in disbelief. She’d thought she knew J.B., that nothing he could ever do would surprise her, but he’d stunned her just now. Left her standing in the hallway listening and praying—for what she couldn’t say.

  Did she want them to share her permanently? Ant seemed to think J.B. was out of his mind and part of her agreed. Grand Terre wasn’t the kind of place where they’d let something like a threesome go unchallenged. Except it wasn’t as though she and J.B. were demonstrative in public anyway. Yeah, they held hands, and now and then he’d give her a little kiss on the cheek, but they weren’t touchy-feely in public. Hell, she’d touched Ant more in public than she had J.B. and the sky hadn’t fallen. No one other than Devon had seemed to have a problem with it, but Devon was very much a rule follower. Always had been.

  So no, she could see why J.B. would think they could get away with keeping a threesome secret. But that wasn’t what made her cry. No, that was all Ant.

  Who loved her.

  Logan remembered every painful moment from last night’s conversation with him. No, not so much a conversation as her baring her soul to him, only to have him go silent. Then that kiss.

  God, that kiss. Logan closed her eyes and slumped against the wall to hold herself up. Ant tasted like fire and cool mint. His flavor had hit her taste buds and she’d gone weak in the knees. His kiss had whirled through her like a tornado, ripping away everything, to leave nothing but the animal within, an animal that wanted its mate and wanted it now. She would’ve fucked him right there if J.B. hadn’t called. The repulsion, the hatred on Ant’s face when he answered the phone had lanced through her, bringing her out of the alcohol-induced haze. She hadn’t known who he hated, her or himself, but it hadn’t mattered because she realized what she’d done.

  Only to find out J.B. wanted them to be together. The three of them, as a family unit, living together, sharing her body. It was the stuff of her fantasies, but Logan didn’t know if she could trust it. She wanted it. God, did she want it. In fact, she could easily see it. Loving J.B. and Ant as she did, she could see coming home to both of them, having both of them in bed with her at night, spending her time with both of them without feeling guilt. It would be a miracle, a dream come true.

  But Ant was gone. He was leaving the house to J.B. because he couldn’t be around her. A sob rose in her throat and she strangled it back, her heart hurting so much she wouldn’t be surprised to see blood on the floor. Ant loved her. J.B. loved her. And she loved both of them. But there would be no happy ending for the three of them.

  “I’m sorry,” J.B. said from the kitchen doorway.

  Logan opened her eyes to see him leaning against the frame, his face hard with pain and sorrow. Somehow she found herself in his arms, her head pressed to his chest, holding him tightly. She didn’t even realize her crying had escalated until she felt J.B.’s hand stroking her hair and back. A soft, “It’s okay, baby” whispered into her ear. All the pain and uncertainty, the guilt of loving his brother poured out of her in what seemed like an endless crying jag.

  “Hush, Lo-Lo,” he ordered gently, his arms tight around her.

  “I l-love you, s-so much,” she stammered on a hitch of breath. “And I l-love y-your brother! I’m such a whore.”

  “Goddammit, no you aren’t,” he said, in a firm voice that brooked no argument. His hands gripped her shoulders and he pushed her back until he could look in her in the eye, his face hard with anger. “You are not a whore and don’t you ever talk that way about yourself again, y’hear? You’re a beautiful woman with a big heart. I love that you love my brother as much as you do me. Love it. And I love that we both love you back.” His face tightened. “I don’t know how much you heard, but—”

  “Almost all of it,” she blurted. “I felt you leave the bed and I was going to t-tell you wh-what happened l-last night and then y’all started talking.”

  “Then you know I want us all to be together.” Logan gave a jerky nod. “And you know it would be difficult. I want you to be with me and with him, at the same time or just sharing your bed at different times. I don’t give a fuck, but I want us all together forever. I love you, babe. Eventually I want to marry you, I want both of us to marry you.” He shook his head when she would have spoken. “I know it wouldn’t be legal, but I want you to belong to us. I want us to belong to you. Forever. It won’t be easy, it won’t be something we could advertise to our families, but as far as I’m concerned the three of us and any children we have is our business.”

  Logan blinked at him, surprised and overwhelmed. “You want to marry me?”

  His smile was startling, but sexy all the same. “I haven’t had the best luck with marriage, true, but in my defense I was a dumb twenty-one when I married Emily. I’m thirty-seven. I know what I want from life, and you’re it. And I want Ant to be a part of that. My marriage to Emily was just…I don’t know. You heard me in there. She wanted him, but not because she loved him. She wanted him because she thought she could have more if she had both of us. Maybe she gave me the idea for both of us to have that with you in the first place, but it makes sense to me. Ant’s my other half. We’ve always been together, except when I was married to Emily, and I don’t want to lose him again. I don’t want to lose you either. So yeah, I want you to marry us, give us children, which we would both love, and be with us for the rest of our lives.”

  She didn’t know what to say, wasn’t sure she could even find the words to express her pained joy. Pained because despite J.B.’s belief they could make it work, Ant had left. She shook her head, her hands digging into J.B.’s sides.

  “But he left,” she whispered. “And you know him, J.B. He isn’t comin’ back.”

  Again with the slow, sexy smile. “Oh he’s comin’ back, baby. We just have to have a plan in place to make sure when he does, he stays. But before we do that, I have to know if this is what you want. If you don’t, I won’t be angry with you. I swear to god. I just want you to be happy. I know you love him, that he loves you, but if this isn’t something you want to—Umph.” He grunted because Logan threw herself into his arms.

  “I do want it,” she whispered, a blush heating her cheeks. “I think about it a lot. That’s what happened last night. I was a little drunk and…I sort of told him I wanted to be with both of you.”

  J.B. wrapped his arms around her, his hands moving in slow, sensuous strokes over her back and ass. “Yeah?” he asked, voice a husky rumble. “I was hopin’ I’d come home to see y’all together. I have to tell ya, baby, part of me wants to know what it feels like to fuck you with another man.” He chuckled when she burrowed deeper into his embrace, her cheeks feeling like fire. His hands dipped down to grip her ass, kneading the globes as he lowered his mouth to whisper in her ear. “I wanna know what it’s like to be in your pussy with him fuckin’ your ass, or me in your ass with him fuckin’ your cunt, baby. I want it so bad I could come right now just thinkin’ about it.”

  So could she. The image heated the blood in her veins until it felt like molten lava, her pussy giving a spasm at the thought, soaking her panties. The hard bulge pressing against her stomach told her J.B. wasn’t lying about what he wanted. His whole body was tense with desire. They’d had anal sex before, only a few times, but the times they’d done it she’d come so hard she’d nearly passed out. The thought of J.B. and Ant moving inside her together… She shuddered hard against J.B. and he chuckled again, the sound vibrating through her to settle right between her legs.

  “I take it you like the thought,” he drawled, his hands still kneading her ass, pulling her hips into his. “It’s gonna happen, baby, trust me. We just have to make sure Ant understands we both want it. Can you do that?”

  Logan tilted her head back to look at her man—or one of her men, if she had her way—a wicked
smile pulling at her lips. “I can hardly wait.”

  Chapter Four

  The house was dark when Ant pulled into the drive much later that night. He’d planned to stay away until he knew both of them were at work, but that plan was shot to shit when he found out his parents had a houseful of guests. They frequently hosted tour groups at Sugar Downs since it was on the historical register, and the weekend was booked solid, all the rooms taken. When he and J.B. moved out his parents had turned their rooms into guest rooms, which had never bothered the brothers. The only times they might return home and sleep was if they were there for the holidays and had too much to drink.

  He’d thought about going to a hotel, but that was a waste of money when he had a perfectly good bed at home. Well, home for now. Ant hadn’t lied to J.B. He was welcome to the house. In fact, it seemed appropriate to let J.B. and Logan live there, to raise kids there. Maybe he was a glutton for punishment, because he could easily see the house filled with kids. But he wouldn’t be there to make them and he wouldn’t put Logan in a position where she’d have to face the criticism of the people of Grand Terre. It still pissed him off that J.B. was so ready to throw her to the wolves, but he’d nipped that shit in the bud by leaving.

  Except for tonight. It was actually a good thing he was back, he thought, as he parked his truck around back. He could grab some clothes and shit and not have to come back until he was ready to move. The other part of him, the hungry, selfish part, was all for taking J.B. up on his offer, but no, he wouldn’t do that to Logan. She deserved so much more than that shit.

  Ant climbed out the truck, careful to close the door softly, and made his way to the kitchen door. He let himself into the house, noting the lingering aroma of Logan’s homemade lasagna in the air, and his stomach rumbled. He hadn’t eaten all day. Instead, he’d roamed Calhoun land, following the cane roads in a bid to banish thoughts of that morning from his mind. It hadn’t worked, of course, but he’d fucking tried.